Now I know your thinking these topics have nothing to do with one another, but they do.  Not a whole lot, but just a little.  Let’s start with Random Hook-Ups.  Everybody loves them, but nobody wants to talk about them.  You can’t just walk up to a girl and say “Hey lets go bang.”  Trust me.  But everyone knows who wants to mess around with who and who drunk enough to do who, but everyone thinks its weird to talk about it.  That’s where Dylanism steps in.  Under this belief or way of life.  There should be a designated hook up day every couple weeks or so.  Maybe even once a week.  This day would be like the Prom, except girls are encouraged to ask guys and vise versa.  Basically you just choose someone that you want to fool around with and say “Hey, what are you doing this Hook-Up day?”  Maybe whoever your asking might say something like, walking their dog, or washing their hair, or someone already asked them, but at least you asked.  And what’s better?  Maybe they might even say yes!  At that point it’s all down hill.  But remember, always wear a condom. The other thing about Random Hook-Up day is that, the next day is obligation free, no matter what.  Kid or no kid.  First time or last time.  There are no obligations.  You don’t have to be mean about it, but that’s why the day is named what it’s named.  None of this, “Oh I like you so much now” crap.  Or, “I feel so close to you know” bull.  When its over, its over.  You can choose to do it again next week, or not, that’s up to you.

Now, on the topic of handicaps, that’s why I stress the condom thing entirely.  You don’t want to make life more difficult for the rest of us anymore than it is.  There are too many damn people in this world already and we don’t need any more idiots running around.  And from what I gather, the drunker the people when the kid is conceived, the more screwed up the kid is going to be.  And that’s  just mean to bring a retarded kid into the world.  Not only mean to the kid, but think about all the people that have to deal with him.  I’m not a mean person and I don’t want to kill off all the handicaps, I just believe in survival of the fittest.  I mean, the animals in the jungles and forests don’t cater to the ones born with one leg.  If you can’t hunt for your own food, you don’t hunt, you don’t eat, and well….I guess you don’t live.  That is why the world is so over populated.  Every baby that is cursed with being brought into this world has a huge chance for survival nowadays.  Back in the good ‘ol days, like 3 out of 5 kids died at birth.  It sucks, but that’s the way nature works.  And now that we go out of our way to save every damn life, even call abortion wrong, we are going to run out of natural resources.  That just proves my point on the meaning of life.  We are so lazy that we don’t want to deal with grief so we try to make ourselves live forever.  Even though its just going to leave the future with nothing to live off.  I mean Christ.  California is already nearing the kind of crap you hear about appocolipses and stuff.  There are riots, earthquakes, shootings, power outages, and even large gatherings of insanely dumb people.  It’s the end of the world for them out there.  That’s why I’m saying we have to cut back.  Not on the sex, cause we’d all go crazy with out it.  Just on the giving all these special advantages to people.  I don’t get any special advantages. I’m a white male.  You think I’m entitled to anything?  Hell no.  I’m the minority now.  There are more Mexicans in this country than ever, soon its going to be a Spanish speaking country.  Those Mexicans multiply like rats.  No pun intended.  Sorry, this has been a really mean chapter.  But its true. And if you can’t deal with the truth, then maybe you shouldn’t try.  Don’t get all melodramatic and kill yourself, because that is not the point of Dylanism.  Killing yourself is stupid and its cheating.  We all have to stand in this line of life like communists and wait to see who’s next.  When you take your own life, your jumping the line and cutting in front of the rest of us.  That’s not too nice is it.  So don’t be a cheater.  Wait for your real death.  It’s over-rated anyway.

NEWS FLASH

            Never ever, under any circumstances is it a wise choice to make a decision between two girls when your drunk.  You will, and I repeat, you will make the wrong choice.  You will just choose the crazy one who is more likely to put out.  Then instead of creating a nice long lasting relationship with the possible love of your life, you will just get one night of wild sex, and still end up with a cold in the morning.  Then that girl, being that she’s crazy, will stalk you for the next 6 months.  Maybe more.