If I did have the ability to change the world and control it however I wanted, there are a few things I would do differently.  First off, I would never have made New York get so much damn snow.  Secondly, I would allow human cloning under my strict supervision.  Every clone would have to pass my specifications and not be some useless normal person or a freak of nature.  The reason I would allow this is because there are some really cool things you could do if you could manipulate mankind.  Not like I haven’t tried, but still.  Imagine how cool it would be to have a tail.  Like a monkey tail.  Not some stupid puffball, or a retarded bushy thing that gets in the way and annoys other people, but a tail that you could actually use in your everyday life.  Not only would it be mad fun, but it would be useful too.  It would solve the cell phone while driving crisis.  Heroine addicts would be a lot happier because they wouldn’t have to hold the surgical tubing with their teeth anymore.  (Acctually, if I could change the world, there would only be a few heroine addicts left, and they would only be here to write music, so it wouldn’t be a huge crowd I would have to try to impress)  Either way,  it would be useful as hell.  Having a monkey tail on humans would also be a ton of fun.  Remember how fun it was to tap someone on the shoulder and watch them look the other way?  Well, how badass would that be if you could fold your arms and still do it!  They would never know.  There are so many things we could do with a tail that life would be ten times easier than it is now. 

I think that’s the meaning of life.  We humans only exist to make life easier for ourselves and the future humans.  Basically, we are the laziest things in the world.  Think about it.  People that work out all the time are wicked lazy.  The only reason they work out is to have a good looking body, so sex and fitting through small spaces comes easier. And being in shape is just a way to get around easier.  That’s all working out is, it’s a tool to be lazier.  People that work hard in school are just doing it so later in life they can be as lazy as they want and not get fired or be poor.  But I say “Carpe Diem” or whatever the hell it is.  Seize the day!  I am just going to be lazy now because that’s where I’m going to end up anyway.  We all get there some day, I think I’m just skip the bullshit and dive right in.  No pussyfooting here. 

Did you know that there are over 4 Billion patents in the US alone?  That means for each one of them, some jackass made money off of making the human race even lazier.  The TV remote.  That was the downfall of sports.  Soon there is going to be a device that controls our TV remotes.  We are just going to sit on the couch and watch the remote change channels.  Anyway, this conversation is over.

Still, I can’t help wonder what it might be like when we reach that pinnacle of lazy, and simply vanish from the earth.  Will we have completed our mission?  Will we actually get to the point some day that each person will not have to move a muscle to do anything, and machines will assist our brain in thinking out of fear we may exhaust ourselves?  Maybe.  I’m looking forward to it.