There are some words in the English language that just make me laugh.  Somebody can say it serious as all hell and I’ll still crack up.  Some of these words and phrases are as follows;  Doo-Doo,  Hump,  Dick Butkus,  Croikey,  Boobie,  Nipple,  Vaginal Cavity,  Physics is fun,  Hump your hand (instead of saying jerking off).  I have to pause on that last one because that takes the cake.  Can you just imagine.  When I hear the phrase “jerking off” I think of some nerd looking at a Sears catalog, sitting in the middle of his parents living room, Indian-style, wanking his weiner as hard as he can.  That’s what “jerking off” means.  To “Hump your hand” is just off the wall.  I can’t even type I’m laughing so hard.  Now I have a picture of some schmuck grabbing the headboard on his bed with his left hand, planting his right hand firmly into his pillow, and plowing away.  His hands are not moving what so ever.  Only his naked, white ass is.  How funny is that mental image.  Now anyone that claims to have never done this, is either a liar, or a respectable human being.  Guys, I think we all know what category we fall under. 

So anywho, back to the subject of funny words.  Sphincter,  Bum-Licker (compliments of Chad Munoz, even though I think you’re a turd),  Turd,  Pimpercrombie and Bitch,  The oreo slogan “You Can’t Get Enough of Our Cream,”  That’s enough for now.  I might possibly get back on this one too.

Let me just say one thing on the topic of Abercrombie and Fitch.  I love the store, I love the clothes, I hate working there, I love the people I work with there, I hate Sarah, but for the love of God, I love the catalogs.  Have any of you seen the one where the girl is pulling up her shirt as she is spinning around.  My mother calls it gross.  My sister calls it disgusting.  My brother calls it “cool.”  But I call it art.  Let me describe this picture.  There is a girl in nothing but a tank-top and a bracelet.  The photograph is from the waist up, but just below the belly-button so you can see her cute little flat stomach.  As if that’s not good enough, she is pulling her shirt up so you can see her perfect breasts.  By perfect, I mean they are not too big, and not too small.  Perfect. *  ßthis means I have an idea I will talk about later.  So back to the naked girl.  Not only is she showing her breasts, but she is spinning in a circle and her hair is flying out to the sides of her.  I call this art, because the photographer captured the perfect image of a girl.  A girl how every guys wants her to be.  Her hair is covering her face so you can’t see what she looks like, and you don’t really know who she is.  That sounds bad, but its true.  As fun as relationships are, nothing is better than random sex.  Naked, simple, and unknown.  Perfect.  Did I mention her nipples.  They are perfect too.